
One of the great discoveries in this blog’s long history was that Lidl and Aldi, the German discount grocery interlopers into the British market, both stock unusually good booze. I stopped by Aldi Saturday to pick up some lovely Clarke’s — my go to brand of quality, cheap, brown stuff — and noticed a ‘premium’ option for a couple quid more on the same shelf. I know Old Horseshoe, like Clarke’s, is probably just the leavings of some better known brand, shipped to Hamburg in a tanker ahead of bottling for distribution across Europe; but, it is especially fine bourbon and after toasting our tree with generous snifters of this vanilla-rich nectar I decided to forego the addition of club soda to the rest of it…at most, this should only be insulted with the water of a single, melting, ice cube.

That tree we were toasting took more effort than it should have to acquire. While Aldi had been stocking Xmas trees the last several weeks, we find it crass to put one up earlier than the weekend ahead of the last full week before Christmas. So, Saturday the 14th we went into the local market then past other shops and finally, approaching the house, to the Aldi as a last ditch effort.

The Run Streak required a minimum of 3 miles and I Googled trees to see how far I would have to tote one…turned out there is a place that sells the big, green bastards in Wednesbury. I jogged up with a pub stop on the way then asked the attendant about pricing. “Forty-five for one about here,” he said holding his hand like a US Army salute at his eyes, “and fifty for the bigger ones.” I whistled and wandered into the forested alleyway.

Eventually, I found an even taller-than=fifty-quid batch that looked fuller and greener than the ones on display. Apparently, these weren’t selling especially well and he offered me one for £30. Wrapped and paid for, I stood under this massive trunk and wished him a Merry Christmas. “And, yourself and yours, as well,” he dutifully offered. I hoisted it onto my shoulder and told him that might depend on me getting this home on the trams (the Metro station being a half mile away through the village centre).
He seemed stunned and looked at me long enough to realise this was not some weird, American style Christmas jest. “I love you,” he said. Holly, jolly, I thought and made my way home…drivers waving me across roads and folks smiling the entire journey back.
